I Am the Color Gray

October 28, 2012 by Marie | 17 Comments

I am going to do it. I am going to book the tickets. Today. I am.

I’ve warned them ahead of time, but they still want me, still insisted on paying our way,  so I am going to book airline tickets for the lovely daughters and me to attend a Mother-Daughter retreat in another state, where I’ve been asked to share my testimony.

I’m a litle nervous.

See, I am the color gray.

I realized it anew during my recent trip to Vermont, where I gathered with my siblings as we waited and watched our mother slip from where she lay sleeping –  a tiny lump in the middle of  a bed with a beautiful ivy headboard, in a tiny bedroom, in a tiny, chilly apartment, in a tiny, tiny town - into eternity.

They are an animated bunch, my five siblings.  Even in the midst of sorrow they are gifted speakers, loud and boisterous and they had many fascinating adventures to describe, many stories to depict with their spoken words and body language. I, on the otherhand, sat, like a little gray mouse nibbling my cheese, watching, the words all tangled up inside and coming out in squeaks.   A gray color crayon, somehow misplaced in a box of primary colors.  A gray shadow beneath a maple tree wearing its brilliant autumn hues of reds and oranges and purples and greens.

I used to want to be shades of powerful reds, bold oranges, eye-catching yellows, beautiful blues. Purples or greens or dark, earthy browns. Anything but dull gray. Sometimes I still do.

And yet, as I grow into who I am created to be I find a contentment in my grayness, in my quietness, in my simplicity. I think when I am wearing my own color, I can  more fully display the indescribible gloriousness of my Creator; my gray makes His majesty all the more evident as I wrap myself in His goodness.

We need bright, bold colors in our world.  But me, I am the color gray.

 And so I will still speak, in my simple, gray way, at the Mother-Daughter retreat, as well as a couple of other places where I’ve been invited, and trust that instead of me they will hear the take-your-breath-away colors of my Redeemer, they will see one arrayed like Joseph in his coat of many colors because I am clothed in the Love of Christ.

Then they will not be disappointed, when I put on my Christ.

and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth  Ephesians 4:24

Prayers are, of course, always appreciated!

Grateful for this wonderful life,

Marie with a

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